So I sit back and realize that food has been at the center of any family function, celebration, or anything I have ever gone to for the last 20 or so years. I have boxes of family recipes from my grandmother and great grandmother and great other people in my life that bring me back to memories. Why do I mention food? I don't over eat, quite the contrary. I don't have an addiction to food if anything I often have an issue with food. I've discussed this with my therapist and it has something to do with me having to fend for myself as a kid because my mom always worked and food let's face it, helps when you're sad.
I feel I've gone off on a tangent. I must regroup. One moment.......
Okay so the other day I went to a baptism/christening and it was all about the food. I mean it was amazing food but it was just so much of everything and I'd done nothing but look at cupcakes in boxes and a cake all morning so I was starving. I ate too much of everything. I tasted everything but ate too much. I woke up this morning feeling fatter than I have in a while and didn't even go to the gym. I need to meditate more. I need to figure out what I missing. I mean I know what I'm missing a cheerleader who's actually willing to drag my ass to the gym. I love all the love from all over but it's just rough when you don't have someone to go at it with you. I have skinny friends. They're all gorgeous. They don't need to do what I need to do. They don't need to accomplish the goal I've set for myself. I guess I'm just tired of fighting with myself. I need to shut the fat girl up once and for all. She's sitting on the skinny girl inside of me and it's starting to piss her off.
Okay that's it for today. I might have more later when my head isn't so froggy with a million different thoughts.
xoxo
me
Do you only like going to the gym? I honestly have never even been, except for the one at WVWC ;) I'm a big fan of going for walks. They are like the simplest form of exercise possible, and you can easily zone out (sort of like meditating ;D ) while you do it. Or someone can walk with you and you can chat and the time goes by, and it's like a social occasion too - I'm a fan of multi-tasking. You can almost always find someone up for going for a walk, but that isn't necessarily true with finding someone to go to the gym with you, ya know?
ReplyDelete